Summary of Paulish Beliefs

Paulish can be described as a philosophy, belief system and set of communication tools to help promote caring, cooperation, empathy, acceptance, understanding, compassion and peace.

The philosophy of Paulish is based on a set of assumptions, beliefs and hypotheses listed below.

Note: Paulish is similar to and has much in common with non-violent communication (NVC), as developed by Marshall Rosenberg and as taught by others such as Dominic Barter..


It feels good to help people. (see video)

Empathy is natural. Babies are born with empathy - (Mirror neurons research supports this)

It is better to help someone than punish them.

People are more likely to listen to you after they feel understood.

It is better to care about people than control them.

People feel cared about when their feelings are valued.

When people feel cared about by those around them they will take care of themselves, of others and of their environments.

People are more cooperative when they feel cared about.

Cooperation is preferable to coercion.

True voluntary cooperation is better than threats, punishments or even rewards.

All humans share basic physical and emotional/psychological needs.

Our feelings represent the degree to which our needs are met or unmet.

We can use our feelings and honest expressions of our emotions to communicate our needs and also to set healthy boundaries or limits.

We each are the best judges of what we need.

Many, if not most, conflicts are about emotional or psychological needs.

The easiest, fastest, most efficient and effective way of preventing and resolving conflicts, restoring connections and healing from conflicts - in other words living in peace and harmony - is through talking about feelings and needs, especially emotional needs.

Many, but not all, people are able to put numbers on their feelings.

These numbers give relatively precise estimates of the levels to which someone feels something. In other words, they are indicators of how well our emotional needs are being met, either in general, or at any particular moment.

It seems to be easier for children and teenagers to use numbers with their feelings. It also seems that children are more mentally healthy than adults.

We are all driven by our needs. In other words, we do every thing to try to fill some need.

We have emotional needs as well as physical needs.

Many personal and social problems are caused by unsatisfied emotional needs.

If our needs are not met we may become hostile, hurtful, aggressive, violent, depressed or self-destructive. But when our needs are met, we are much more likely to feel good, and consequently be more cooperative, more creative, and more open to learning and new ideas.


Personal note from Paul

In my development of "Paulish", I am trying to apply the scientific model of research. In other words, to use the scientific model of having a hypothesis and then testing it to see if it is valid. And also using the scientific principle of continuous research and experimentation, getting closer and closer to an accurate description of reality.

I invite people to test these hypotheses in their schools, businesses, organizations, communities, families, personal relationships and in their relationships with themselves.