Summary of Paulish Beliefs
can be described as a philosophy, belief system and set
of communication tools to help promote caring,
cooperation, empathy, acceptance, understanding,
compassion and peace.
The philosophy of
Paulish is based on a set of assumptions, beliefs and
hypotheses listed below.
Note: Paulish is similar
to and has much in common with non-violent communication
(NVC), as developed by Marshall Rosenberg and as taught
by others such as Dominic Barter..
It feels good to help people.
Empathy is natural. Babies are born with empathy -
(Mirror neurons research supports this)
It is better to help
someone than punish them.
People are more likely to listen to you after they feel
It is better to care about people than control them.
People feel cared about when their feelings are valued.
When people feel cared about by those around them they
will take care of themselves, of others and of their
People are more cooperative when they feel cared about.
Cooperation is preferable to coercion.
True voluntary cooperation is better than threats,
punishments or even rewards.
All humans share basic physical and
Our feelings represent the degree to which our needs are
met or unmet.
We can use our feelings and honest expressions of our
emotions to communicate our needs and also to set healthy
boundaries or limits.
We each are the best judges of what we need.
Many, if not most, conflicts are about emotional or
The easiest, fastest, most efficient and effective way of
preventing and resolving conflicts, restoring connections
and healing from conflicts - in other words living in
peace and harmony - is through talking about feelings and
needs, especially emotional needs.
Many, but not all, people are able to put numbers on
These numbers give relatively precise estimates of the
levels to which someone feels something. In other words,
they are indicators of how well our emotional needs are
being met, either in general, or at any particular
It seems to be easier for children and teenagers to use
numbers with their feelings. It also seems that children
are more mentally healthy than adults.
We are all driven by our needs. In other words, we do
every thing to try to fill some need.
We have emotional needs as well as physical needs.
Many personal and social problems are caused by
unsatisfied emotional needs.
We feel good when our needs are met. We become
aggressive, violent, depressed or self-destructive when
our needs are not met.
When we feel good we are more cooperative, more creative,
more open to learning and new ideas.