Paulish
A Language of Feelings, Empathy, Equality, and Cooperation

Hello Ligia : )

Português

Paulish is very similar to Non-Violent Communication, which was started by Marshall Rosenberg in the USA and is now being adapted by many people including Dominic Barter in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

The creator of Paulish uses the online name "Paul"

Paulish is based on these beliefs

Here is one example of Paulish. More will be coming later.

The Washing Up

I wish I would have listened to you a little more. I accidentally invalidated her feelings at a point in the conversation and it made things more difficult

Listening, Life and Death

Examples of Invalidation

In Brussels, Belgium. Ocober 1, 2018

I was asked to leave a common room in a hostel so a small chocolate company could use it privately to put on a presentatoin for a large corporration for a couple of hours. When I questioned why it was necessary for me to leave, and suggested it would have been better to ask me how I would feel about moving, no one showed much empathy or understanding.

One of the managers, MJ, kept interrupting me and saying "I understand but..." He also said "I think you are creating a problem where one doesn't exist."

The person from the small chocolate company, M, tried to tell me why I should not feel the way I felt. He said, for example, it would be quieter in the room I was being moved to.

Later, I told one employee "I am the one who suffered" and she said "You didn't suffer." Then she got defensive when I said "So you don't believe I suffered?" She also tried to convince me she understood how I felt. My response was telling her, "Well, I don't feel understood." This employee seemed to truly feel bad and apologized when she saw how much pain I was in. She seems like seems like a pretty nice person who hasn't been trained in how to listen.

I will add the best listener was a man from Brazil named Gael. : )